Here We Go Again With Sex, Sport And Image Value
Here we go again. Happy as can be. All good friends and jolly good company. We were all getting a bit bored when the media stopped talking about that Tiger who kept filling up those tanks. But now we have an England captain scoring away goals and keeping us bemused. Mr John Terry is good at playing in the boxes, both at home and away.
Let us not worry too much about Tiger Woods. He can afford it and anyway he has now found again protection from the image-makers who really can make a difference in terms of advertising profits. Tiger can burn bright again in the forests of the night so long as he pays the cash and then plays the real game better. Golf? Who really cares. Ok he will need to pay a small fortune still to keep up this hush-hush condition. But Tiger can hit on other markets too you know. There are eighteen holes for him to play with and, at least to my knowledge, he still has a few holes left to fill. What Tiger Woods needs is a new image-maker and Public Relations consultant.
As for John Terry things do not look so good. He is not an intelligent male and he is not that good at golf. Terry kicks footballs and people. In fact he is well known as being the king of the professional foul. The football world of England through Chelsea, through to England and then through to world-wide media circuses, have seen this already. Terry does not play by any rule. Terry just does what he does and usually gets away with it. That he has more cash than brains is also well known but money surely can talk. Let's face it John Terry is well known to be a burk.
John Terry is, say many, no longer a good role model. He can no longer be the captain of the England football team. His latest away goals have been claimed as being against the moral code of any captain of any team. He has, you see, been knocking off some WAG woman. Now you see just why I say that Terry is not too smart. Who the hell would want to knock off a WAG. Smarter people prefer real women rather than gold-diggers.
To make it all worse this WAG woman was the WAG of a team-mate. Soon we expect John Terry to reach the big numbers that Tiger Woods reached as more and more wanna-be WAGS wanna get paid for thier stories about his sexual ball playing. This is great stuff because I can write this week about the sexy sporting life and business deals and politics and all that. Thanks WAGS and John Terry for giving us some good media gossip.
If anybody does not know what the hell I am talking about then just ”google it all” for gods sake. I really cannot be bothered to write all the boring details. There are limits to sanity you know. Golf, football who really gives a damn.
Wait a minute here. If you do want the details phone my boss and order them from me. Then I will give them and get paid big. Really big. My image value would also go up and up. Image = Cash. Bring it on I say. Jesus wept I could even make a kind of big splash. A ”Scoop”. You know those big stories that build up scandals and moral panics. I knew a football player once who was a goalkeeper. He was ”knocking off” rather many of the (WAGS) wives and the girlfriends of his team mates. But, damit. That was so many years ago. That story would not sell today. I must think again for the good of my career.
But I will need to be quick here. The sporting world is waiting for the Sunday newspapers like the ”News of the Screws” to publish the latest details of this Terry affair. You know that News of the Screws. It is the big Murdoch paper that can tap into phone calls and all that. Politics and the police are usually powerless against this Murdoch sports machine. So I will need to work hard and quck to get my scoop and find my fame.
What story would sell I ask myself. Well if we can, in this time and age, keep to the facts, than it always takes at least two ( ok, sometimes a few more if that is your sporting life) - it takes two to tango, as they say. It takes two or more to tango if that big image value is to be made big big big. What then about that other side of the coin?
Women first? Yes, let us turn these stories around and upside down. If WAGS means ”wives and girlfriends” of these big superstar male sports celebrities than what about the husbands and boyfriends? The HABS? So what about the HABS? What then about the women? Could I get a story published about a woman cheating on a HAB? Or would that be sexist or ”inappropriate”?
Now I know. I need to write a story about a nymphomaniac who does well at the sporting life. What I need is a good and famous ice-skating woman or a tennis woman or a golfer to be ”at it”. That is what I need for my ”scoop”. I dare not even consider writing about a female skier who is ”at it” because that would not pay. Who would believe me? But maybe I am wrong here. Maybe most of the female sporting life ”winners” are ”at it”. But maybe not.
Maybe it is only the male sporting life species has has a ”G-Spot”. Women sporting life images have yet to find that big G-Spot? Can it be that sporty female nymphomaniacs are smarter than men? Do they employ better agents?
Do you know I can write a big article for a popular newspaper on this matter. All I need is a female who is a sex-mad sporty kind of woman. Bring her on I say. Make my day. I wanna make some money. If this cheating sporty female has a special preference for a certain size of HAB penises that kind of information helps and puts up the scoop value.
So if any of you out there, you good moral sport types, have a story about a sporty nympho on-heat send it in and I will make sure that you get very well paid. Trust me. We must keep up the moral fibres of the sporting life so you will, in fact, be working for the public good – and getting well paid for it ( a few spicy pictures helps too).
Remember too: Never let the facts stand in the way of a good story.
Steve Bowles
