What Will A Sporting Life Be Like in 2025?
As sport moves so quickly along with social and economic changes I wanted to try and see what sporting lives would look like in the year 2025. So I waved my hands around my crystal balls, chanted ali-zumba-zumba-zee, and then waited for the messages to get into my head. Here is what I found.
The Olympics. Due to various social and economic pressures the Olympic Games will be forced to change. Too slow, too boring and simply not inter-active enough. With a TV audience of mainly the over-55s the advertising finance moves into other less senile arenas.
We will begin to see The Internet Olympic Games. This will be an annual event. Internet game play will be the biggest ever Olympic extravaganza. Finland supported this move. The Finns said that this internet Olympics would connect people and that this was a good Olympic ideal. China tried to vote against this but failed. Such was the power of Finnish politics.
However the traditional Olympics will carry on with new sporting ways. More naked competitors will be demanded. In these naked events there will be laws that refuse a competitor to shave of any body hair (that's cheating). Even the complaints from Winter Olympians are ignored. This is a new show that must go on. The Australian members were the main backing force for this move. The Swedes were unsure.
In boxing. No more gloves. No more protective headgear. Bare-fisted fights are seen as the natural way ahead. The TV stations demand it anyway. There was talk about fights to the death but this talk was put on hold until the next meetings of the International Olympic Committee. One IOC member said that ”We must stick to our Olympic ideals”. The British supported this move. Italy voted against it. Sweden called for more time to consider.
New categories of competitors will be classified. The latest being midgets and freaks. It was almost passed by the IOC that transvestites would be granted status but this again was put on hold until the next meetings. The Australian members were voting against this move. Sweden asked for more time to consider the implications. The French voted for this with vigour.
Outside of Olympic sports there are other moves.
There were trial runs of Politico Games where top politicians compete against one another. After the first trial event it was then back again to the drawing and planning board as the words dope and dupe were most popular in debates. It was also found out that cheating was rife. It was thought that better and tighter controls of these politico competitors was needed. The USA voted hard against this although Germany and Norway came out in support.
Christian versus Muslim games. This is one of the biggest events ever to challenge the Olympic movement. This is really where sport is the moral equivalent to war. The first test run is timetabled for 2026. There is still a little bit of disagreement on the sporting events but everybody votes for stone throwing, chanting and whipping. Italy votes for this with all the power of the Vatican City behind it. However Sweden needs more time to consider the implications.
I am not allowed to give you, good reader, my sources or the references for this, my informative prediction. But I can assure you that the information here and above is the truth and nothing but the truth so help me God. If there are any complaints about my reporting please contact my boss because he can afford a lawyer.
Steve Bowles
